My friends. Welcome.
My name is Jack D. Martin. I was born in Sydney, Australia (yes, the Sydney Harbour Bridge), grew up in Melbourne, Australia (no Harbour Bridge) and now live in New York City (Statue of Liberty.... just incase).
The thought of writing a page about myself and all of my 'achievements' makes my stomach feel the way it did after my one and only oyster experience (not pleasant). I tried writing a draft and it feels pretentious and SO impersonal.
This morning a Men's Health article came up on my newsfeed, "Twelve Foolproof First Date Questions We LOVE." Why not. Screw the traditional 'About Me' page. I'll answer these questions, and hopefully you'll have a pretty good idea of who I am by the end of it. Enjoy!
1. What's in your Fridge?
Okay? Weird thing to open with. But alright, I'll play along. Eggs. Starting off the day with a soft boiled egg is a need, not a want. Followed by: pineapple, apples, peaches, chicken breast, Pillsbury biscuits (not even sorry), yogurt, chocolate, some more chocolate, corn & more condiments than you can possibly imagine.
2. What do you do for a living?
I am an actor! I have also started to dabble in writing while I've been between other jobs. My writing partner, Piera Calabro and I co-created the group Five O'Clock Somewhere in June 2016 and we just launched a new series! Click the button to check it out!
3. What kind of things really make you laugh?
I laugh the most when it's not suitable to laugh.
Example: Back in high school I was in a formal assembly, sitting on stage with a group of students, as we had won a prize and were going to be officially awarded them in front of the school. Infront of me sat 800 school students, as well as the entire staff and some parents of the prize winners. Our principal was giving a speech and after every sentence would press his tongue into his front teeth and suck slightly, resulting in a strange slurping/popping sound. It's a hard sound to describe, but if I did it, you would instantly know what I'm talking about. I seemed to be the only person to hear this and started to get the giggles. I was trying my best to convince myself that it wasn't actually that funny, but it was way too late. Every time he would pop/slurp/whatever, it would just spur me on further. I was red faced, tears rolling down my cheeks and doing my best to not let my laughs become audible. A teacher came and hurried me off the stage, thinking I was in excruciating pain. It took so long for me to calm down that I actually missed my name being called to receive my prize and had to go collect it from the principal's office later that day.
4. What's one thing about you that would surprise me?
I'm terrified of Bananas. Smell, taste and texture are all wrong. Vomit.
5. Where do you feel most relaxed?
Lying on a beach. But not one of these weird fake beaches in New York like Rockaway, or worse, Coney Island - I'm talking about a proper surf beach with white sand and big waves.
6. What's your favourite place in the entire world?
A small beach town (with beaches very similar to what I described in question 5) where I spent every summer growing up. I'm not giving you the name of it though, because no one who goes there wants it to become too touristy. However, I've been told by the locals that I am in fact, a tourist.
7. Favourite movie of all time?
Waiting for Guffman.
8. What is your favourite way to spend a Sunday?
Wake up around 9.30am, head down to Whole Foods and pick up their Farmhouse Pancake & Waffle mix - If you haven't tried it, get on it. It's the real deal. Head over to Bluestone Lane cafe and get some nice Australian Coffee. Come back home, cook up pancakes. Eat said pancakes. Watch a few episodes of whatever I'm watching at the moment - probably Veep. Read a few chapters of whatever book/play I'm currently reading. Go to Cotta for dinner ($5 margherita pizzas during happy hour and half price beer & wine. YOU'RE WELCOME). Head to a show somewhere in the city!
9. Do you have any pet peeves?
Chewing with mouth open & talking in the theatre. Example: Woman behind me at Skylight - "Why was that funny? I don't understand, I didn't find that funny. Carol, why was what he did funny?" Because it's Bill Nighy and he is a genius. Shut up.
10. Did you - or do you - have a nickname? What's the story behind it?
With my last name being Martin, the natural nickname was 'Marty'. During primary school my friends realised that the word 'Farty' rhymed perfectly with Marty, so for a while there I was known as 'Farty Marty'. I really pushed for 'Party Marty' instead, didn't catch on.
11. Read anything interesting lately?
I'm in the middle of Powerhouse: The Untold Story of Hollywood's Creative Artists Agency. It's an incredibly entertaining really dishy - ba da ba ba ba I'm loving it.
12. When's your birthday?
Really? Are you trying to get to know me or trying to pass the security questions to get my Facebook password? What's next? What is your mothers maiden name? What is the name of your first childhood pet?
Alright. I'm a Leo.